You’ll need to sit down with a cuppa and a bowl of bliss balls for this one! Read about my core desired feelings and how they’ve played out, the blow-by-blow (extended version) as well as my highlights for 2014.
Core Desired Feelings
My Core Desired Feelings for 2014 were Quality, Sacred, Sexy, Playful and Energised.
How they’ve played out:
+ Quality: I wanted to invest in myself, live my best life and be the best I could be. It’s been one hell of a ride, as situations, experiences, and people were cleared out to make way for the quality of life I want to live.
+ Sexy: I wanted to embody sexy, feel luscious, self-assured and comfortable in my body. I had a partner this year who I had the craziest monkey-sex with (sorry Mum). I dated someone else who showed me the shadow side of my approach to relationships and sex. I’ve been looking outside myself and relying on external experiences for validation. At the end of it all, I’m happily single, and I feel sexy, sensual, graceful in this body of mine. I’ve come to a beautiful place of self-acceptance and self-love through exploring my sexuality, and I want to share this with others. You’ll find me writing more about this very soon.
+ Sacred: I wanted to breathe the sacred every day. I wanted to feel reverential, devoted and surrendered. This year has pushed my limits – how devoted am I, really? How much more can I surrender? How present can I be? I’ve had to let go of my beliefs, my perceptions, about spirituality and myself as a spiritual being, and just BE it. Just BE. It feels different to how I thought it would, but isn’t that always the case? Nothing feels the way you think it does. You have to experience it to know. I’m not always embodying the sacred but 2015 will be devoted to this.
+ Playful: I tend to take life a bit seriously, so I wanted to lighten the mood and become more playful. Play fell to the wayside a lot of the year, although there were spurts of it here and there. It really came into effect in September. I chose to make the last three months of the year about play and curiosity – say yes, see what happens. And like a kid in a candy shop, the universe delivered. Business and personal life have been a lot of fun. And I want to this light-heartedness to roll over into 2015.
+ Energised: I’d spent 2012-13 recovering from adrenal fatigue, so I wanted to make 2014 the year I had the energy to pursue my dreams. All the emotional stress of the first part of this year (see below) really left me drained, but once I got back on home base it’s been all systems go, and I have so much energy – because I’m devoted to my spiritual practice. It’s very rare for me to be tired, because I don’t drive myself the way I used to. As we speak I’m rising at 4am for meditation + Reiki, teaching 6-9 classes and working 20 hours a week, writing, hitting the beach… living the dream, really. It feels so good!
January began with huge shifts as I returned from a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation course. This changed everything. I followed this with the Wellness Warrior Tour. What an experience. Five cities – Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Adelaide – in two weeks. I loved it. I also had the BEE Mastermind retreat, where five soul sisters and I spent the weekend visioning, eating, laughing and enjoying our time together. I’ve never felt so intimately connected to other gals before and it was divine.
February saw the start of Lead With Soul, a six month virtual power posse immersion focused on living and working in alignment with your soul’s deepest desires and values. Susana Frioni was our glorious leader and with her guidance I embarked on a journey to embody my soul’s truth and commit to myself fully.
This led to my epic decision in March not to continue with Earth Events (and therefore the Wellness Warrior and Melissa Ambrosini teams). Every part of my mind (and a few people) told me I was crazy, but my Vipassana experience had brought me so in touch with my soul and my truth, and my soul was leading me in another direction. As painful as it was to let go of the identity and the old dream, I had to trust that there was a bigger plan.
April brought a split from the guy I’d been Bringing Sexy Back with. I was a bit heart-broken but it was for the best, I’d learnt what I needed to from him.
May passed by in a blur of job-hunting, punctuated by the Sacred Dance Party hosted by Susana Frioni, my Leader With Soul. I put my event skills to use and made the bliss balls for this total babe as she led 50 women through all shades of love, sex and desire on the dance floor. It has to be experienced to be understood, and I was privileged to be part of it. May ended with me jumping straight into another full-blown, intense rebound relationship. Not my smartest move. I was also published in Happiness and Wellbeing Mag in May – my second piece of published writing!
June, July and August were rather shite. After I left Earth Events, I listened to my gut, intuitively turned down some more awesome opportunities, and then couldn’t find work, despite my best efforts. I basically spent March to August unemployed, apart from 6 weeks of hellish fundraising work. My flatmate was travelling in July, and we’d already agreed to let go of our apartment. I then had no place to go and no money, and I was desperate to remain in Brisbane, staying with friends and eventually crashing the new guy, who I’d been seeing only for a couple of months (Red flag! I know!).
It felt like my rock bottom. I avoided returning home to Rockhampton – it felt like admitting defeat, like failure. Plus I told myself the story that I was used to living my lifestyle of organic food, yoga and Gold Coast beaches, and I couldn’t do that in Rockhampton. Not that I was doing those things in Brisbane – I couldn’t find the money to pay rent, let alone go to a yoga class, with things the way they were! But my ego and my fear were very convincing at that time.
The turning point was when I came to visit my family in Rocky in August. The guy I was seeing went a bit nuts on me (not for the first time) and I emphatically said, “Enough” (It was actually more like “Fuck This.”) I went back to Brissie, packed up my stuff, and moved in with my mum and dad.
Total babe and gorgeous friend Tara Bliss gave me the best advice I’ve ever received. She told me to focus on my spiritual practice. So I did. I changed the type of meditation I was doing and meditated twice a day. I practiced yoga. I did things that made me feel good. I started tracking my money and being grateful for what I have, not just saying it but FEELING it in my body. And with that, everything shifted.
September brought a new start as I began teaching yoga and meditation at Holistic Health on Denham. I then covered for Tracey at Body N Soul Yoga while she went trekking in Nepal in October. Between the two locations, I taught up to 15 classes a week for about three weeks. EPIC!
November was huge. My classes were going strong, I started teaching more classes at a gym and a PT studio, got my first health coaching client, hosted a meditation workshop for 30 women, started 1:1 yoga sessions, did my Level 1 Reiki training, hosted a Yoga Rave, completed the #YogiSelfLove challenge, started writing on this blog and Raspberry Magazine, and did a chin stand.
And now we’re in December. I got my second health coaching client, had some Reiki healings, sold some meditation stools. Things have slowed down. I need to rest and reflect, integrate all the teachings and the shifts, and ground myself in the here and now. I’ll be seeing in the New Year at Falls Festival, my first festival in over two years, followed by a week of juice cleansing and solo retreating in Byron. All of my core desired feelings, rolled into a neat little package. Thanks, Universe.
+ The Wellness Warrior Tour was the first national tour that I coordinated and helped manage. It was a huge success, tremendous fun and I learnt HEAPS. It was also freakin’ hard work. *NAME DROPPING ALERT* I met some absolutely awesome people, including Drapht, Lisa Mitchell, Pete Evans, Cindi O’Meara, Wes Carr, and so many other gorgeous people who were part of the events that I’d need a credit reel to name them all. You all hold a space in my heart for your part in this experience ❤ as does Yvette Luciano & Jess Ainscough for taking me on the crazy crazy time of my life.
+ Soul Sisters. It has been a blessing and a privilege to stand alongside the indomitable Carly Stephan and Tara Bliss, the effervescent Alana Wimmer and Anni Sadler, the sublime Dani Pepper and Sara Jelenazza, the formidable Helen Jacobs and Susana Frioni, the coruscating Tahlee Rouillon and Ashlee Cummins and the magnanimous Jennie Murphy and Tamie-Lee Hansen and call them soul-sisters. What a group of total babes. They’ve written books, launched new business ventures and journeyed down the rabbit-hole of relationship, providing me with endless inspiration and awe. I love you all. #babetastic.
+ Lead With Soul, with Susana Frioni. I participated in Susana’s six-month group mentoring program this year from February to August, and it was an integral part of my year. I wouldn’t be in the position I am right now without Susana’s guidance and the presence of the five other beautiful souls in the group. Lead With Soul helped me focus on liberating my dreams and desires into reality. I was guided and supported when I needed it most and I am eternally grateful to Susana. She’s a soul-babe and I love her to bits!
+ Coming home. I did NOT want to return to Rockhampton. In fact, I did my best to avoid it all year. It turned out to the right move. I was enveloped in the loving embrace of familial support and welcomed in to the burgeoning holistic wellness community here with open arms. Everything is growing and flowing seamlessly and the only thing I need to do is get out of my own way and let myself blossom. Kathy Shields and Tamie-Lee Hansen, you guys make up my rock ❤ Love your faces.
I’ve got a few things lined up for 2015 already:
+ Yoga Rave 2
+ More classes in Gracemere, Rockhampton and Yeppoon
+ Chakra workshop in January
+ Coaching packages (TBA)
+ Collaborations with Evoke Eco Yoga, Body N Soul Yoga and others 🙂
+ Writing – this blog and elsewhere.
+ My goal is to be the example of how to transform your life from the inside out while raising the profile of yoga and wellness in Central Queensland.
Collaborations will abound – I can’t do it all on my own; in fact, I don’t want to do it on my own. I want us all to support each other as we grow and evolve, business and personally. So if you’re interested to work with me, be it as a coaching client, for Reiki healing, as a collaborator or a participant in the yoga scene, or you want to connect to see what we can achieve together – please, contact me. I’m open 🙂
I’d love to hear how 2014 has treated you – let me know in the comments or send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org.
All the best for you and yours, stay safe… lots of love,